You and a group of friends are about to have the best night ever in Clifton. It’s not going to be easy, and you’ll probably make some questionable decisions, but it’s going to be a night you’re never going to forget. We’re not going to make this easy on you, but you’ll get to enjoy the best of everything Clifton has to offer. You’ll eat enough food to feed a small country, drink enough to fill a bathtub, and ultimately intake your annual amount of allotted calories, but it’ll all be worth it.
1) The tour must be completed with a team of 6-8.
2) If someone vomits, leaves, or passes out; you’ve lost.
3) Everyone has to participate. No one sits out a round!
4) You only have 3 hours to complete the entire tour…
1. Prepare For Alcohol – Devour A Bearcat Pizza – Adriatico’s
The hardest part here is going to be deciding on the toppings among yourselves. This is one hell of a pizza, but all the carbs will help you later. We recommend your strategy to include giving the smaller people more of the pizza, because they’ll get drunk faster, and hopefully more pizza will prevent that from happening any faster than it already does. The only rule here is that EVERYONE has to eat at least one piece before moving on! Plus it’s delicious, so why wouldn’t you want to have some?
2. Kill Off Mac’s Pitchers – Mac’s
So, after horking down a giant pizza, you should be good and ready to let the drinking begin, and nothing says competitive drinking quite like pitchers of light beer. With that in mind, you won’t get a better deal on a pitcher of light beer than at Mac’s. Since it’s so cheap, everyone in your group has to drink at least one full pitcher of beer while you’re there. If you want to drink more, that’s up to you.
Bonus: If you go on College Night, everyone has to take one of their Gummi Bear Shots alongside the pitcher. They’re so strong that they burn your tongue.
3. Mystery Shots…? – Murphy’s
Time to make the short hike down to Murphy’s. Sure, walking back up the hill might make the struggle all too real once you take a mystery shot, but at least we fit it in the mix earlier than later. Once you get to the bar, go to the back bar and let the bartender surprise you with a group of mystery shots. Once again, no one can sit out on this one. Maybe you’ll get lucky and won’t get a shot that’s loaded, but it’s still gonna be strong.
Pro Tip: Grab a free hot dog or some popcorn if you already need to sober up a bit…
4. Spin The Wheel – Uncle Woody’s
Credit: Uncle Woody’s
Well, you should be a little buzzed by now, so probably won’t mind the ridiculous amount of bros you’ll have to fight through (hopefully not literally) to get to the bar. You may get a Four Horseman shot or you may get something nice and fruity, but that’ll just be up to fate. Your team can sub out on drinks here, if you need to keep someone from getting sick, but everyone has to take at least one shot.
5. Time To Get Crafty – Brass Tap
Nope, you’re not going to fight crappy light beer here. Congratulations, you’ve graduated to the finer beers in life! Your reward for making it this far into the tour is a flight of beer to celebrate with! You can pick whatever beers you want, but you have to sample all different types of beer. You can exchange if you don’t end up liking yours, but you’re probably going to find at least one new favorite.
6. One Last Hoorah! – Keystone
Credit: Keystone Clifton
Sweet, you made it to the last stop on the block! So, you pretty much have your choice of drinking whatever you want. While we’d recommend one of their cocktails, you’re free to grab a beer. You’ll probably have to support each other to walk out the door, but you’ve made it further than most would. So, here’s to you, ya drunky!
Bonus Round – Cactus Pear
Oh, you thought you were done? Nope! No Tour De Clifton would be complete without a trip over to Cactus Pear for a pitcher of margarita. That’s a fact. Two people to a pitcher! Finish it, and you’ve mastered the tour! We commend you for your ridiculous feat of alcohol consumption!
Share your conquests of your own Tour De Clifton by using the hashtag #ImpulcityTourDeClifton! We can’t wait to hear the stories!