The 8 Funniest Stereotypes in Louisville

 

We’re all guilty of being some of these stereotypes every once in a while. I am guilty of being more than a few of these, sometimes at the same time. That being said, here is a non-exhaustive list of stereotypes you may encounter when in Louisville:

The Gangstaneck

The gangstaneck is a dazzling display of cognitive dissonance. This is a white guy with the upper-lip stache (once reserved for only Freddy Mercury, NASCAR drivers and sex offenders prior to the hipster movement) who inexplicably wears an over-sized John Deere belt buckle with a fresh pair of Jordan’s and a flat bill hat while bumpin’ Three Six Mafia in their F-150 pickup truck. It only makes sense that a resident of Louisville would have such an identity crisis – have we ever figured out if we’re the northernmost southern state, the southernmost northern state, part of the Midwest or all of the above?

Find them at The Hill trying to buy fly honeys a drink.

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The Outsiders

Bless their hearts. These poor souls probably just moved to the city from the cut, or worse, may have even lived here for decades and have no excuse for why they are still entirely oblivious as to how to navigate the intricacies of Louisville society. Sure, most of us don’t recycle, but you don’t just TELL people that. We cringe internally every time they announce that they’re running to McDonald’s or voting Republican without a tinge of hesitation in their voice.

Find them at Joe’s.

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The Voluntarily Homeless

This is a twenty-something (or thirty-something) who decided that hailing from an affluent family just wasn’t their jam – unemployment (which affords them plenty of time to acquire an encyclopedic knowledge of conspiracy theories) couch-surfing and/or freeloading off their nineteen-year-old girlfriend is much more their “thing.” Why enjoy luxuries like a stable residence and three square meals a day when you can be unwashed and eating scavenged bar food for sustenance?

Find them in the same clothes they’ve been wearing for the past four days asking ladies to buy them a drink at Cahoots.

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The Hipster

“Hipster” is a label that is thrown around so often that it has lost almost all meaning. Let’s consider the “try-hard with a false sense of superiority” definition of the word.

Find them broodingly reading a book or scribbling feverishly in a notebook in the corner of a dimly lit bar. Ironically, the venues they choose to execute this demonstration of bold individuality means that it goes largely unnoticed because everyone else is doing it, too. C’est la vie.

Find them sipping on a microbrew and contemplating their unbearable ennui at Nachbar.

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The Progressive Thinker

You know the drill. They will talk until the sun burns out about the benefits of water birth under a full moon while burning a bushel of sage, unsolicited tips about urban gardening, their recipe for organic, gluten-free vegan kimchi, the evils of aspartame… and it goes on like this. It’s all very interesting… in moderation.

Find them sipping an organic smoothie at Life Bar.

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The Bro

The guys who didn’t get the memo that popped collars stopped being a “thing” a decade ago. This breed of Louisvillian may introduce themselves with such lines as, “Do you know who my dad is?” or, “I’m in grad school and someday I’m going to make a lot of money.”

Find them striking out at Molly Malone’s.

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The Flower Children

These are the hippies that are “about that life” – not the weekend-warrior variety. You’ll generally only catch them in Louisville in between their stints of working on farms out in the rolling hills of Kentucky or when Berea is on a holiday break. You’ll know them by their patchwork pants, homemade Grateful Dead threads and aroma of sandalwood and patchouli.

Find them roving barefoot in Cherokee Park with a pack of dogs running free or getting down  to Vessel at The Hideaway.

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The Clique

Everyone in Louisville knows each other some way or another and many of them have been a part of the same clique since freshman year. If you don’t mind listening to them reminisce about “the old days” (constantly) and can handle the fact that anyone you’ll date in this clan has probably dated every other person in it – twice – welcome to the crew.

Find them at the Back Door chatting up their ex from the tenth grade.

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