Tinder is a beautiful thing when used correctly, but sometimes you just can’t figure out the best place to meet up with an online date. Don’t worry, we’ve got the knowledge to show you the best places to take a Tinder date in Chicago.
7. Owl Bar
If Things Go Well: The dim lighting and cheap drinks will make it easy to get in the mood for romance. Get there earlier for lame conversations about favorite colors and life aspirations and stay to get drunk and end up making questionable decisions. Afterwards you can stuff your face at the Rocking Horse next store. If your date doesn’t like stuffing their face when drinking, there’s something wrong with them. They probably also don’t like anything else good about life. Abort.
If Things Go Poorly: Owl Bar has the reputation of being a hookup bar for a reason. End the date early, walk around the corner as if heading home, and then swiftly turn back around the corner and make your way back into the bar. Surely there will be another desperate single in there looking to fill the hole inside their soul. If your date comes back too, you judged incorrectly and you should definitely put a ring on it.
6. Kingston Mines
If Things Go Well: Your date will appreciate the blues. You’ll get to enjoy some of the best creole food in Chicago and by the end of the night you’ll be drunkenly dancing around to some classics. The bucket specials are cheap, but don’t be afraid to buy your date one of the cocktails. The bartenders know what they’re doing and provide the balanced cocktails you’ve been searching for. Just don’t get so drunk that you fall over your date when dancing. That would be embarrassing.
If Things Go Poorly: Don’t kid yourself. Things can never go poorly at this spot unless you mess it up yourself. There are far too many fantastic things about this place to blame it for your problems. Even if there’s no chemistry there, you all will enjoy some great live music, cocktails, and food. Blues Bars are pretty romantic, though. We have faith in you. In a place like Kingston Mines, the magic just seems to happen.
5. Headquarters Beercade
If Things Go Well: You’ll walk in and they’ll already be playing one of the retro classics, and you’ll be down to school them with all of your arcade knowledge. If they’re already playing TRON, you know they’re up for the challenge of putting up with your difficult sh*t, and you better keep them around. This goes without saying that they have a ridiculously excellent selection of craft beer. Sure it’s a little steep for a beer, but they have some that you won’t find anywhere else in the city, and that’s saying something.
If Things Go Poorly: Well, at least it was worth a shot. Maybe you can try to break the high score at one of the games. Drink your sorrows away with a fancy beer or two, and give Pac-Man a go. Ms. Pac-Man and Pac-Man may get a kiss at the end of the night, even if you don’t. If you play the game long enough it will happen. Just watch.
4. Holiday Club
If Things Go Well: Who doesn’t like a fine establishment with cheap booze? After romancing in the dark corners of this dimly lit bar, make your way over to a game of pool and be a little suggestive. If your date happens to be a pool shark, maybe they can convince someone to bet with them and if they win maybe they’ll buy you a classy meal at Taco Bell afterward. Hey, you must have goals. If not, just use the game as a tool for sexual innuendos. We know you’re just trying to get frisky, ya animals.
If Things Go Poorly: It’s pretty dark in there. Maybe you can convince someone from the bar to tap in and you’ll just sneak your way out. The regulars seem nice and open-minded. They’d be down to help you out. You may also just want to call your friends over and slowly migrate away from the date. It’s just one of the best places in Chicago to chill with some of your close friends. “Here, friend, my date is now yours.” Everyone has that one friend…
3. Big Star
If Things Go Well: Come on, everyone loves tacos. How can anything go wrong when you’re experiencing sheer taco bliss? You’ll get to sit out in the open-air breeze when the patio opens back up in the spring. Add some margaritas to the mix and you have yourself the perfect date night. Enjoy some laughs as you recall some embarrassing, drunken stories.
If Things Go Poorly: This is definitely one of those spots that you have to enjoy outside. With that being said, it goes perfectly with the whole “oh, no, my allergies” routine. Put a little pepper under your nose and start sneezing a little bit. Sure lying about having allergies is pretty terrible, but it’s not as terrible as listening to someone’s stories about LARPing. If that’s your thing, I’m sure there are discussion boards online for that.
2. Revolution Brewing Co.
If Things Go Well: Revolution Brewing’s tap room has a lot of space making it easy to find a place for an intimate conversation if the chemistry is there. Their collection of high-quality beers has something to offer everyone, and they even offer tours if you’re looking for an educational first date. If someone is down to knock back a few beers with you, chances are that they’re pretty chill. If they’re asking where the Bud Light is, it may be time to leave.
If Things Go Poorly: The bathrooms are situated far enough from the tables that you should be able to make a swift exit without being noticed. This is what you should do immediately if someone says they don’t get into Revolution. Do you also not love Chicago? What do you love?! These are the questions you’ll be asking yourself as they speak. Get away. Now.
1. Howl At The Moon
If Things Go Well: In most cases, only a classy lady will appreciate the sounds of someone tickling the ivories. Well, that’s usually the case, at least. On top of that, they have a ton of solid drink specials, especially the buckets. If you’re really lucky, you’ll find someone who likes belting out that same old Elton John song that you do, and you’ll be there on karaoke night. Yeah, that’s unlikely, but it could happen!
If Things Go Poorly: If things go poorly, at least you’ll have music to listen to, and hopefully it will make the date go faster. You may even be able to make a hasty escape when they go on one of their breaks. Wonder if they can play that piano music when someone has been accepting an award too long? If so, that can be your cue. It’s time to get out of there.