21 Things Only Louisvillians Understand

 

1. We REALLY Like Silly Hats

Who HASN’T agonized over an over-sized sunhat with a hot glue gun and some toy horses on the night before Derby?

derby

2. We Can Walk Between Worlds

Sure, we clean up well and KNOW how to use proper grammar and speak with a non-regional dialect, but we’re also not too good to drink brown liquor, barefooted, on the front porch in the middle of the day, y’all.

drink

3. We’re A Blue City in a Red State

Certain things don’t really shock or surprise us like they may the rest of the world – like the headline “Man Forced to Eat Beard.”…and?

Beard2

4. The Enigma of Watterson Trail

Watterson Trail seems to arbitrarily begin and end at random points throughout the city. It’s like a wormhole. We’re in Middletown – wait, how did we end up in Shively?

road

5. We’ve Understood Horse Racing Odds Since The Womb

…just kidding, we pick the horse with the coolest name. How do you people understand this stuff?

cup

6. We Still Get Lost In The Highlands Sometimes

Even if you’re a Louisville lifer, somehow it’s easy to underestimate exactly how far of a distance something is down Bardstown Road. “I always think I know where I’m going on Bardstown Road and then I’m like, ‘shit, I just passed 17 Heine Brothers.’”

streets

7. We Have To Constantly Explain to Outsiders That Louisville ISN’T “Kentucky”

Case in point:

redneck2

8. …but If Anyone Else Tries To Pick On The Rest Of Kentucky, We Aren’t Having It

It’s like the sibling you like to give a hard time but will open a can of whoopass on anyone else who tries to hassle them. Nobody gets to pick on my little Kentucky but ME!

9. Derby: The Mardi Gras of Kentucky

You mean the rest of the world doesn’t shut down for the first Saturday in May?

137th Kentucky Derby

10. We Have Trust Issues About Bridges

It will be completed by the deadline? More like deadLIE, amirite?

bridge

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11. We Feel More Pride About My Old Kentucky Home than The National Anthem

…are we supposed to say that out loud?

old kentucky home

12. Legitimate Fear of The Pope Lick Goat Man

If there’s anything more terrifying than a half-goat, half-man living under a train trestle luring unsuspecting victims to their deaths, we’ve yet to hear about it.

Goatman

13. We Survived The Earthquake of 2008

“I thought that my cat had run up against the window and that there was a cat outside,” said Mayor Jerry Abramson.

rebuild

14. …and The Wind Storm of 2008

tree

15. …and The Ice Storm of 2009

wint

16. …and The Flash Flood of 2009

flod

17. …and The Flash Flood of 2013

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18. We Believe 12 A.M. Is A Perfectly Reasonable Time to Hit The Town

Why are all you squares getting to the bar at 9:00? How do you expect to make it til a 4:00 A.M. bar close?    

shots

 

19. We Still Miss Ear-X-Tacy

…and to add insult to injury, it’s a corporate chain store now. If only they could’ve held out another year or two for the hipster revolution.

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20. We All Have Pictures of Ourselves Riding One of These Bad Boys

Seriously. We’ve been riding Mark’s Feedstore pigs since we were old enough to crawl.

Picture 221

21. We Still Haven’t Gotten Over That One Horse That Got Put Down At The Derby

Did that really actually happen?

eightbelles