18 Things You Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners About Columbus

 

1. You Will Constantly Be Asked Where You Went to High School.

This question is meant toA�eliminate that awkward period of trying to figure out your two degrees of separation and just get all that out of the way… and to make sure you aren’t THE John Smith that dogged their friend’s sister’s friend.

2. It Gets Bigger, We Swear

People look at the city and think we’re pretty small, but we’re actually the fifteenth largest in the country. Boom.

3. Oh, Jeni!

We don’t want you to leave our city without trying her ice cream. It’s too beautiful for words.

Check Out Jeni’s On Impulcity:

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4. If You’re Not An OSU Fan, You Should Show Yourself Out

Let’s get one thing straight here: It’s THE Ohio State University. You don’t have to like it, but you’d better show some respect.

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5. Traffic Before An OSU Game

Oh, you wanted to get into Upper Arlington before a football game? That’s cute.

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6. The Polar Vortex

You’re going to be freezing your ass off one day and be drenched in sweat the next. Get used to it if you plan on staying around here.

7. Our Professional Sports

Yeah, we choose to have both an NHL and MLS team. You think it’s an odd combination? We don’t care. We’ve got mad love for the Jackets and the Crew.

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8. We’re Actually a Giant Small Town

It is extremely difficult to not run into at least one person you know anywhere you go. Anonymity doesn’t exist, so refrain from the drunken debauchery on Monday afternoons… but if you must, do it here!

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9. You Think You’re Smart?

Well, we were just ranked in the top seven of the smartest cities in the WORLD. You were saying?

10. Wendy’s Started Here

Yeah, we get it, it’s a major chain. It wasn’t when it started here, though. Plus it’s the best fast food you can eat. There’s no denying that.

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11. Meals On Wheels

Yeah, we have a lot of food trucks… so what, we like our meals on wheels. We have a whole festival dedicated to those beautiful trucks.

Check Out The Food Truck Festival On Impulcity:

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12. So, Yah Think Yer Irish?

We also have the largest Irish Festival outside of Ireland. It’s held annually in Dublin. No, not the one in Ireland.

Check Out The Irish Festival On Impulcity:

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13. COSI

Unfortunately, we can’t all be Einstein. We can, however, pretend that we know what’s up by playing around in the exhibits at COSI.

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14. Beer City

We love our beers! It’s rare to go into one of our suburbs and not find at least one microbrewery. We drink a lot of beer, and we’re damn good at making it.

15. Our Zoo Is What’s Up

The Columbus Zoo consistently ranks as one of the best in the country. We try to make it there at least once a summer.

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16. Rockin’ The Range

We have one of the best rock festivals in the country and the best names in the business always show up.

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17. Shadowbox Live

We’ve got plenty of comedy to go around. The best part? It’s the largest not-for-profit theater in the country.

Check Out Shadowbox On Impulcity:

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18. We Know Victoria’s Secret…

Yeah, it originated in Columbus. We’ll just leave this here…

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